“Home is the place that goes
where you go, yet it welcomes you upon return. Like a dog overjoyed at the
door. We’ve missed you is what you hear, no matter how long you’ve been gone” -
Michael J Rosen
In my last blog I shared that “I lived in seven different
countries and felt at home in each one of
Once again, like with most questions in life, there is no simple
answer. To this day, when people ask me “where are you from?” my answer is not
a straight-forward one. Instead, I always feel the need to share a short story
in response. “I was born in Israel, but I lived in seven different countries,
mostly in Argentina, where my parents, my husband and children are from, and
now I’m from Durham, NC”, and then I have an urge to add "I’m a citizen of
the world”. Oy! So, where IS home?
Let’s start with question #1, how is it possible to make every
place home? Well, I need to give credit to my parents for that!
- To
start, they always made me feel we were on a mission. It wasn’t about an
unstable life, but a life with a purpose. We were moving for my dad’s job and
we all had a share in that job. My dad worked for the Israeli Foreign Ministry
and I always was a little ambassador for my country. The purpose was to bring
with me my homeland and share it with my new home until I can share it with
another home, and then another... and at the end we all learn that we are part
of one big home.
- They
always taught me that I was part of a community that was all over the world,
and being part of that community gave me a sense of belonging, wherever that
community was. I can’t remember having arrived to any country and not being
invited that first Friday to a family Shabbat dinner with the same prayers,
tastes, and traditions we had at home.
- They
also made me believe - and I still
do!- that there were always
friends waiting to meet me in other places. I cried for a week saying goodbye
to my friends, but I was also excited to go and meet those who were waiting for
me. Coming into a new school it gave me all the confidence I needed to make new
friends “who were waiting for me”
-- something I carry with me even today.
- And finally, my parents would recreate
my environment as if every place was the final destination, not a transition.
It wasn’t about “we will live here only for two years”, but it was about “this
is home now”. Believe me, it worked!
My husband always reminds me, it has to do with my personality.
But more than that, it has to do with my choice of how I want to live. I could
cry for what I am leaving behind, or I could choose to believe that what I have
I can still have anywhere I go, and what was there for me will still be there
even if I move.
Now to question #2, which one is really home? That’s a more
philosophical question. At this
point “home” is larger than a country for me. Yes, Home is the country I was
born in, no doubt about it, even if I left at a young age and even if when I
visit (visit home?) I feel a stranger in many ways- from my accent to the way
of living. But I belong there, and
belonging is home. Home is being with my childhood friends wherever they are
around the globe every time I see them. Home is always when I’m with family who
is also happened to be spread out around the world. Home is when I taste that
food from that country where I used to live. Home is listening to the languages I was born into. Home is
listening to the songs I grew up with. Home is my parents. Home is being with
my husband and my kids even if it is in a hotel room. Home is my house no
matter where it is. As Rabbetzin
Twerski wrote “home has nothing to do with bricks and mortar and furnishing, it
has everything to do with the spirit which fills it”.
There is a famous song in Spanish, “No soy de aqui, ni soy de
alla.” which means “I’m neither from here nor from there”, but I'd rather sing
it “I’m from here and I’m from there”.
Home is a feeling, not a place. To me “home” is a state of mind,
not always a single place but many
places. Home is a place that goes where I go.
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