The Mission: No wise fish would go anywhere without a porpoise

by Jane Stein

 

“No wise fish would go anywhere without a porpoise.” ― Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

For those of you who have been following my blog, you know that I have been a very strong advocate of the “NO MONEY NO MISSION” school of thought.  I have even gone so far as to argue (much to the chagrin of many of you) that the money must come before the mission.

Well, today I have a surprise for you.  I am going to devote this blog to, wait for it, THE MISSION, or, in the immortal words of Lewis Carroll, THE PORPOISE!  After all, you cannot raise any money without a solid and meaningful mission presented to the public in the form of the mission statement.  After all, it is the mission statement that is supposed to communicate your entire purpose.  And you want that to be done in one (OK, maybe two) clear sentences.

According to Peter Drucker, the guru of all things management, “a mission statement should fit on a T Shirt”.  According to Jane Stein, a mission statement should give you goose bumps as it communicates the purpose of your nonprofit agency.  And add to that the need to speak to the dreams for the future for the organization, the need to describe what the organization does and how it does it and for whom, the need to be your marketing and public relations rallying cry and you have the perfect mission statement.

I will bet that if you were to ask the board of your nonprofit organization at your very next board meeting to write the organization’s mission statement exactly, no more than 5% of the board would be able to do it without cheating.  I am also sure that no one, and I mean just about no one (even the CEO/Executive Director), can write down what should be the single most important set of words in the many, many, many words surrounding your organization.

So, what are you going to do about this?

Here are three suggestions:

1. Hold a contest.  Engage not just the board but the full staff, clients, stakeholders in the community, in writing a new mission statement.  Find a great prize (donated, naturally). Get some good old fashioned public relations on the project (remembering that PR is free).  This project would serve several purposes as it could possibly be an opportunity for a local reporter to visit your organization and really see what is going on (all good stuff of course) and it will get the word out about your work in a new and different way.  Added benefit….more positive responses to your fundraising efforts!
2. Have a board retreat. Begin the retreat by looking at exactly what it is that you do. I call this “filling in the mission wheel.  Do all of your retreat work.  Then end the retreat with the rewriting of the mission statement.
3. Institute a “Mission Moment” at the very beginning or the very end of every board meeting. This is a three to five minute slot on the Agenda where either a client, a staff member or a volunteer (leadership volunteer or just one with a good story) shares that story with the whole Board.  The beauty of the “Mission Moment” is three-fold: it gives everyone a new elevator speech, it will, over time, be so special that Board members will arrive on time just to be sure not to miss the moment (or they will stay to the end of the meeting to not miss the moment…You get to use it to help the attendance issues of your organization by putting it first or last to fix those late-comers or early-leavers problem that you might be experiencing), and of course it will begin to point out to everyone just what the organization’s mission really is....thus helping that whole rewrite of the mission statement thing we have been taking about!

And so, you will begin to find yourselves swimming in a more solid direction?  Because, Lewis Carroll”s wisely grinning Cheshire Cat said it best: "If you don't know where you're going, it doesn't matter which way you go."  Your mission statement will take you exactly where you were meant to be going.

Networking in the Sukkah– a Dread or an Opportunity?

By Noa Peri-Jensch

As I was explaining my trainer at the gym today why I couldn't possibly keep a straight diet over the holidays and that Sukkut is knocking on the door, where I'm expected to wine and dine for seven days, not to mention eight days of Chanukah in just a few weeks and that one day of fast over Yom Kipur couldn’t possibly off set all these challenging days…He paused and smiled. He said "I am in such an awe of how the Jewish people imprinted deep down in their culture the importance of tradition, holidays and feasts. We (he is Catholic) have 1 day of Christmas and 1 day of Easter gatherings around food. You guys have months worth of occasions where you have big meals. But at the same time, I now understand how strong your community is as it provides such strong infrastructure for you to meet old friends and welcome new ones. The longer the occasions are, the deeper you network with one another and succeed."  This conversation made me think about the holidays and gathering from a completely new perspective…a networking perspective.

I am not suggesting walking into a sukkah and distributing business cards but it is a good time to walk in with a new mind set of getting to know new people and starting conversations framed around getting to know the needs and likes of others while looking at ways of meeting these needs. Isn’t what networking is all about?  I don’t think that Abraham had that in mind when he invited the 3 angels in disguise into his tent, but the end result was a win-win for both parties.  Networking comes naturally for some and is a huge dread for others. No one likes to be “sold” into a service or product, especially over the holidays. But true good networkers are successful at that no matter what is the occasion. Here are some tips that might work for you.

1. Arrive on time. Not only it is considered rude to be late, but it also helps you get situated and get comfortable with the environment and people. It is easier to find other people who don’t have conversation partners yet.

2 It’s all about relationships. Never ever offer your services or products in such gatherings. People have gathered together to celebrate the holidays. Remember, networking is all about relationship building. Keep your exchange fun, light and informal –People are more incline to do business with – or partner with – people whose company is enjoyable.

3. Start a conversation. To get the conversation started, simply walk up to a person or a group, and say, "May I join you" or "how do you know our host?" Don't forget to listen intently to their replies. I always vote for doing listening than talking. There is so much you can learn about other people’s expressed and unexpressed wishes, If only you’d listen.

4. Share your passion. Attract people with your enthusiasm, not for your products or services, but for the outcome and impact they have over other people. Leave a lasting impression by telling a story about why you were inspired to get into your field or create your company. Talking about what you enjoy is inspiring and contagious. When you get other people to share their passion, it creates a two-way conversation.

5. It’s not about what people think about you…It’s about how you make people feel about themselves when they are around you. Best way to engage and be engaged is by really being in the present, totally fascinated with the people and conversations that you are part of. As soon as you glance sideways, looking at who has just arrived, or checking an incoming text on your phone, you have lost the connection.

6. Be Positive.  Attitude is contagious. You all know people who you feel energized to be around them and people who make you tired immediately. It is all about their attitude and appreciation for life. Do your best to avoid complaining, and other negative remarks. You might think that sarcasm is funny, but sarcasm, in the wrong dozes, gives you a reputation of being negative. Look people in the eye, use their name repeatedly, listen to what they have to say, and suggest topics that are easy to discuss. Don’t forget to smile. A real genuine smile invites others to come to you. You must have a good reason to be happy about.

7. When it’s appropriate make sure to follow up. If you have spotted a way that you may be of a help to someone, remember to ask what is the best way to follow up with, send a referral or just email a good article about that topic. Since it is all about relationship building and not selling, stay in touch with people. Let them know how they can contact you.

 

A Day of Atonement, taken to heart

By Orit Ramler Szulik

I had already ironed my suit, the early dinner menu planned, my "Talit" ready. It was last
year, at 3:00am on the day we wake up to get ready for Yom Kippur. My Day of Atonement started with an unexpected sharp, loud cry assuring the skies were open to hear my pain and plea for relief. My whole world suddenly collapsed, my body certainly did, and the pain was worst than any pain I could ever imagine. To make a long story short, and after days of what felt like torture, I found out that I had two severely herniated disks in my upper back, and that surgery was needed. I wondered, “Can this really be happening to me? who will take care of my family? how will the world keep
going with me in bed? “ - The answers to these questions were not clear, but eventually I learned a lesson. A year later, I didn't just survive but I am definitely in a better place.

We were at the door steps of Yom Kippur, a time for introspection and there I was capable of doing just that, metaphorically and literally! Finding a meaning to whatever happens to us is a good practice, and for me that is what helped me make this experience a profound one, not just a painful one. It was a long month before I had my Anterior Cervical Discectomy and Fusion surgery, followed by a few months of recovery. I was forced to learn much about myself and others. And here it goes:

We are vulnerable.  I never took the time to think about it before. Being confronted with my own vulnerability was very powerful; scary at first, and yet empowering and somehow beautiful when accepted. Vulnerability made me connect with what the core of life is all about and appreciate every day with a new lens, one that doesn’t take anything for granted and yet appreciates every feeling and experience with passion. Vulnerability made me become thankful -for the good and the challenging, but mainly for being able to deal with both.

Compassion is a practice.  I always thought I was compassionate, and somehow I was, but now I know better. There are friends and family who “carried me through” my ordeal, they taught me what compassion in action is. The friend who didn’t just guess but instead asked me “what do you need?”; the one who massaged my  numbed fingers for hours; the one who asked me “what do you want for lunch today?”- almost every day; the one who sat next to me while I was sleeping so my husband
could do some work; the one who organized a four-week schedule of visits and meals for my family; the ones who called every day; the one who baked chalah every Friday; the many who would sent flowers from around the world and from around the corner; the ones who came to visit; the ones who made sure I had everything I needed to be comfortable; the one who got me into all those TV series and kept me entertained; the many who cooked home made meals. I am eternally grateful for having them in my life, but also because they taught me all I need to learn about compassion, not because of
what they did, but because of how they did it.

There is a time for everything. “Can I stop everything in my life? what will happen with my clients? what will I miss for my kids? what if I can’t take my parents to an important doctor's appointment? how can I miss being there with my husband during the High Holidays?”... bottom line, “will the world continue functioning without me?”. I had no choice but to let go and eventually find out by myself. As you can imagine, the world kept going pretty smoothly. My clients are still there, my kids did well and actually gave me lots of care and love, my parents didn’t need a doctor but helped me heal, my husband was surrounded by the love of our community, and things didn’t stop or collapse because my body did. There is a time for healing and there is a time for all the rest. We have the permission to do what’s truly important for us some times.

Scars happen.  At first I didn’t even care about it, I just wanted to make sure I will be able to walk. Then I started to wonder, and my son told me “it is cool, it will be another story to tell”, and I liked the idea. After the surgery, my scar looked as if someone tried to decapitate me, but it was ok. Then, I hated it because it reminded me about the pain. Later I forgot about it, and everyone would tell me “I can’t even notice your scar”, and I would think “yes you can, but you’re sweet”. A few weeks ago, I walked into a store and a guy tells me, “you belong to my club”, then he showed me his own scar...I loved it! No more words were needed, we were brothers. We shared everything about our common
experiences, and spoke the same language. Since then, my scar is officially noticeable, a story to share, and a reminder of vulnerability, compassion, friendships, love, belonging, introspection and strength.

We have no control. I knew it, but I didn’t, and some times I still forget. The bottom line is that I fear every situation where I’m not in control or command - such as roller coasters or airplanes. Going into the surgery, I had no control (thanks G-d) over what the surgeon would do, and the outcome of his work. The only thing I could control at times, was my fear and thoughts. And yes, I chose my surgeon. So, although we never have full control over absolutely anything in life, we can do our due diligence to get as close as we can to some peace of mind that we did our best. Peace of mind is my new goal, as opposed to control.

My husband is the best! I knew it the day I met him and I know it 27 years later. The way he was there for me, carrying me through, was a way that goes beyond anything I could imagine or describe. He gave me dignity and made me feel well with whatever was happening all along the way. What my husband taught me about him, myself and our relationship is a gift that can help rebuild any collapsed human being.

And the lessons go on and on. This Rosh Hashanah, I’m thankful to so many and for so much. Now the Day of Atonement is almost back, and I’m thanking G-d for the journey he took me through. This Yom Kippur I will stand tall, look deep inside, and I will know I have been strengthened by all the lessons I learned from the past year.I have my suit ironed, the early dinner menu planned, my "Tallit" ready, again. I also have a renewed wisdom to accept that I’m vulnerable and that’s part of being alive, that true compassion carry people through the most challenging times, that I can take time
off and the world will be just fine, that control is an illusion and peace of mind is the way, that scars have their beauty, that community and friendships are a blessing, and that my family is a gem.

I wish all of you a meaningful Holiday, where you can look deep inside, find the meaning to what’s important, think of the lessons learned and be open to keep learning, and be ready for new beginnings.

Life Outside the Box

by Jane Stein

Walking through the woods on a snowy day (with apologies to the good Mr. Frost)...well, actually walking through the city on a hot and humid day, my path as always took me by the little park.  I have described this park to you before.  It is the place where many of our town’s homeless congregate on bench’s to meet, chat, enjoy a bit of sun and safety.

But this day, something was different.  I saw a few folks tossing Frisbees for their puppies, a few folks power walking in the middle of the park.  But what I did not see was one single solitary homeless person.  And more shocking was the other thing I did not see….one single solitary park bench!  Our town fathers (and mothers) in their infinite wisdom decided to remove all of the park benches from the three pocket parks located across from the three large churches and synagogues that often serve lunch for the homeless.  No benches, No homeless.  No homeless, No “noisequarrelsshoutingpushing.  Hum.

My experiences walking by those little pocket parks two or three times a week have always been very pleasant.  No one has ever pushed, shoved or quarreled as I came by.  The most shouting I have ever heard is a “you go girl” or a “looking good today”.  Yes, I am not so naive as to believe that when the sun goes down it might not be quite so peaceful in these pocket parks  After all, these folks must jockey for the softest (really, is there such a thing?) bench to sleep on.  But SO WHAT!

As I continued my walk, without the cheering squad urging me on, I got this image in my mind of a safe, sound, neat, clean, cozy box.  This is the box that each and every one of us live in.  It is a box filled with privilege.  I am not talking about the “privilege” of great wealth.  I am talking about the privilege of living a life well above the bottom three rungs of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.  Of being able to live a life with our biological and physical needs met (food, shelter, warmth), our safety needs met, our belonging and love needs met.  Life inside the box is quite wonderful.

And so as we all approach the coming days of awe, I believe that we should each take a moment of our time to think about whether or not we are doing all we can to help more people live a life in the box.  Are we volunteering our time and donating a bit of our treasure to help those living outside the box in our own neighborhoods, towns, country, overseas?  Are we keeping our covenant to repair the lives of those living outside the box in this tired old world?  Are we doing our very best to make this world just a little bit better…to help more people to have some kind of a happily ever after?

I keep a copy of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs posted where I see it every single day to remind me that I am one of the truly luckiest women in the world.  As we approach the New Year of 5774 let’s all take a look at dear old Maslow and thank G-d once again for our lives inside the box.

Visiting Israel: A Visit to My Life Philosophy

By Orit Ramler Szulik

 

A 65 year-old person today is not considered old, but I think we can agree that a 65 year-old country

is considered very young. Imagine a 65 year-old country, with roughly 7.5 million people living in it. Imagine a country barely the size of New Jersey. Imagine a country with people arriving in massive immigration waves from the most diverse cultures you can think of, including roughly 150,000 from Ethiopia and 1.5 million from the former Soviet Union, all in recent years. Imagine a young, tiny country trying to welcome all faiths and yet protect its roots. Imagine that country, a true melting pot, living in a difficult neighborhood with many extremists trying to wipe it off the map. Imagine a country where every home is required to have a shelter and all citizens their own gas masks, all the time. Imagine a country where you are sitting in your room and the background noise is from a neighbor country, the border just 1.5 mile away, fighting a bloody civil war. Imagine a country where each and every 18 year-old kid is required to serve in the army for several years. Imagine a young and tiny country in the middle of the desert. Imagine that country fighting for its right to exist in peace, and yet trying to preserve its vibrant democracy.

What kind of country do you imagine? If you’re like me, you imagine Israel, but you also know that it is so much more than what I just described.

I will tell you that in that country and with all that complexity, I had the best family vacation one could ask for! Whatever you imagined, here is what I saw. I saw the beauty and the narrative of a very young country still defining itself, as its own identity keeps evolving while confronting significant existential threats and complex social issues. I saw a country where people feel safe and know that life is valued and important. I saw a blossoming economy in the middle of the desert, where it is sometimes hard to know you are in the desert when you see the modern landscape around you. I saw a changing society that has its own challenges, but also a beautiful mosaic where the most diverse cultures interact and learn how to become one, building a unique blend, and learning painfully how to coexist with the good and the not so good - but always learning! I saw a country that makes the best out of its Army and young soldiers, which develops and grows the younger generations with strong values, education, innovation, and a hope for a better future. I saw people living fully every day. I saw a mezuzah in every grocery store, post office, and everywhere I turned, feeling at home. I saw the hub for many technologies that keep the entire world running, technologies which come from Israeli innovation and scientific advancements, created in the middle of the blossoming desert. I saw a country which continues to have its top universities and academic institutions ranked among the best in the world. I experienced art, culture, healthy democratic debates, and constant self-questioning of its political and judicial systems. I saw incredible beautiful sites and ate wonderful meals from around the world. I enjoyed some remote, wonderful restaurants in the Galilee, started by up-and-coming Israeli chefs, and even a growing Israeli winery in the Golan. I enjoyed the pleasure of the best Mediterranean beaches.  I heard the sounds of all religions, languages and music you can imagine. I experienced the sounds of the bombs in Syria while having coffee and the best water melon ever, at my cousin's home in a beautiful and peaceful Moshav in the Golan. I also heard directly from doctors how Israel is rescuing Syrian women and children and treating them in Israeli hospitals. I heard the struggles and needs of the people but also the understanding that many challenges are global and the hope and desperate cry for peace is a shared struggle.  I saw lots of growth and development regardless of all the challenges that young, tiny and complex country faces. I saw the choice to live in peace even if we are not there yet. I saw that life goes on in Israel!

And that’s when I finally understood where my personal and professional “make it a good one” philosophy comes from. I grew up belonging to a country, and today I belong to a community of people that always stands for the life every human being can and deserve to have. We choose to transform what we have, no matter how difficult it is, into a good one! We had slavery, we escaped. We had the tragedy of the Holocaust and we came from the ashes and re-built. We had wars and we kept going. We had terrorism and we didn’t settle. We have a desert and we make it blossom. Israel is young, imperfect as we all are, a very complex society...and yet the people in Israel choose every day to make it a good one.

My trip to Israel was a great vacation, fun and meaningful. But my trip to Israel also became a trip to understand where I come from and how far we can go when we transform what we have into what it can be.

Camp isn't Just for Campers Part 2: Saying Goodbye to Camp

First Day of Camp

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by Donna Schwartz

My last last day of camp was approaching and tears welled up in my eyes every time I thought about saying goodbye to the part of my job that I’ve loved the most. What brought me to this moment? Several months ago, I resigned from my position as the Associate Executive Director at the Siegel JCC in Wilmington, DE. I had been with the agency for almost 12 years and I was ready for a change. Knowing that it would it be a a hard transition for everyone (including myself), I gave four months’ notice.

But as it turned out, the hard part was even harder than I had anticipated.

Part of my job this summer was to help our Interim Camp Director have a successful summer. “No problem” I smirked, as I thought to myself, "I’ll spend the summer outside at camp, play and have fun! I can do that." And that I did. But what I didn't realize was how hard my last, last day of camp would be. The reason I got into the Jewish Communal field was to be a Camp Director so the idea of never being part of camp again was truly the end of an era. In my role as the  Associate Executive Director of my JCC, I was never far from campers singing and cheering, and I could always take a break from what I was doing to go play outside.  This was fate though --  my last summer at the JCC --  and I got to do what I got into this field to do one last time.

As my last week approached,  I thought "what about this am I going to miss the most?" Here is my list:

10. Screaming “Boker Tov Camp!” to all of camp and, in unison, them screaming back “Boker Tov Donna!”

9. Watching a camper pass the deep water test on her last day of camp when she could barely swim on the first day of camp.

8. The amount of enthusiasm campers and counselors have for their team colors during the Maccabi Games.

7. Bringing Israelis to our camp and letting them show campers how amazing Israel is.

6. Watching a group of 11 year old boys not only accept but totally incorporate a boy with Down syndrome into their group.

5. Campers and counselors who will do anything to win the Ruach Stick for the week.

4. All of camp singing the Hatikvah

3. Watching scared campers cry on the first day of camp knowing that 8 weeks from now they will be crying on the last day of camp because they don't want it to end!

2. Hiring counselors who were your campers since Preschool and them being the most amazing staff.

1. Friday afternoon at Shabbat watching the whole camp saying the prayers over candles, wine, and challah and singing Bim Bom.

On Monday morning of my last week of camp, I declared to everyone that I was going to enjoy every moment and fully embrace the last week of camp craziness. In years past, the last week has always been so hectic and I often said "I don't have time to participate in (fill in the blank)".  But I was determined to make this year different as I knew there would not be another opportunity like this. Below is just a sampling of the fun that occurs at Camp JCC on the last week of camp.

Campers pay to Pie the Counselors in the face.  All proceeds go to our Camp Scholarship Fund.

 

We dig a Mud Pit for the Maccabi Games final relay

Shaving Cream Fight on the last day of camp: a Camp JCC tradition!

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I'm a true believer in fate -- and this summer was fate.  Ok, well maybe I should thank Jeremy, the previous camp director who moved to Memphis to be the Program Director (thanks Jeremy!) but either way I can't imagine ending my 20 year career in the JCC field any other way.  

My new job as a consultant and a trainer will allow me to still be a part of camp by training staff and consulting on best practices but I'm not sure that will ever include getting into a Mud Pit or having a shaving cream fight.  But hey you never know!  Either way, I will always have my last, last week memories to hold onto.

The Three Magic Words

By Jane Stein

Once upon a time there was a major gifts fairy godmother and she would swoop down, wave her magic wand, say the three magic words and poof! The major gift would appear -- just like that.

What, you ask, could those three magic words be?  

“Join with me”

How do they work? Well, “join with me” in learning today’s three step lesson in Major Gifts fundraising:

1. Get your Board to give
2. Get your Board to ask
3. Get your Board to use the Three Magic Words

We all know that a basic rule in the world of nonprofits is that 100% of the board must give.  OK, I see a group of you thinking “but we don’t have that kind of a board!”  YES YOU DO!!  Every person who is on your board, regardless of the level of their wealth (or lack thereof), believes deeply in the mission of the organization.  Otherwise, why would they give their discretionary time to be a member of your board? So if we have established that they believe deeply in the mission, why would they not want to support that mission?  And since there is “NO MONEY NO MISSION”, how can that support not include a financial donation?

We are not, in many cases talking about putting a minimum “give or get or get off” level into this equation, though this is totally appropriate for some of your organizations.  What we are talking about is helping to make the achievement of the mission goals possible…something that takes money.  That mandates asking each and every board member to make a gift to reach those goals.

I have worked with many human service nonprofits that have by-laws that require that there will be at least two “clients” on the board.  And I have found with the most successful of these organizations, it is the client who is the very first to make an annual financial contribution to the organization. I have seen some of these gifts be $2.00…and have been awed by the power of those gifts. And if that formerly homeless woman, that high-risk, single parent of a child deemed “at risk”, that unemployed and in-debt elderly gentleman can do it…then certainly every other member of the board can make an annual financial donation to the organization.   Again…how can we ask others to do what we ourselves did not think was important enough to do?

Which brings me back to the three easy steps.  These steps are as important to non major gifts fund raising as they are absolutely critical to major gifts fund raising.  Once the board member has made his or her own financial commitment, Step 1 is done. When a board member is ready to have personal conversations with others in the community (in other words has had some training in ‘how to ask’), willing (in other words has learned that passion for a mission must be followed by action towards reaching those mission goals) and able (in other words has the ability to form sentences and speak them). Step 2 is done.  And now, along with a wonderful (and short) mission story, a very few (very few) facts, much eye contact, a whole lot of active listening to what the donor has to say, it is time to ask the donor for a gift, Step 3.  And what could be more powerful than using saying “join with me”?

And you know what? Even without a magic wand, you just might get that gift!